I clean house every other day. Today is the other day!

So this isn't Home Sweet Home... Adjust!

Ring bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week. Too bad you missed it!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

I came. I saw. I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards.

Apology. Although you'll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this. Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Help keep the kitchen clean. Eat out.

My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.

I read recipes the same way I do science fiction. I get to the end and think well, that's not going to happen