You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.

You enjoy watching the news.

The phone rings and you hope its NOT for you.

The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

People ask what color your hair USED to be.

You're proud of your lawnmower.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn't breaking any laws.

You start singing along with the lift music.

You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.

Your car has four doors.

You routinely check the oil in your car.

You've owned clothes so long that they've come back into style, TWICE.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

8 AM is your idea of "sleeping in".

You write thank you notes without being told.

Neighbours borrow your tools.

You answer a question with "Because I said so!"

Others ask for your recipes.

You start Christmas shopping in August.

You don't like to drive after dark.

You say the words, "Turn that music down!"

You wear black socks with sandals.

You point out what buildings used to be where.

You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.

You can't remember the last time that you laid on the floor to watch television.

The service station attendant lets you pump your gas BEFORE paying.

Now tell the truth--aren't you OLD?